What Is Love?
by RanXNao
Summary: Sonic and Shadow seem to be more distant than ever. It's getting close to their 1 year anniversary too, will their magical love adventure end before then?  SONADOW, YAOI
1. Chapter 1

A single flake of snow drifted to the frozen ground. The snowfall was slow at first, the calm before the storm, if you will. The chilled air began producing more flakes, speeding up production as time passed. It was a serene scene. The glimmering snow was almost a romantic scene to see from the frosted window on the newly built apartment was out of the way, yet very covenant to the hedgehog that lived inside. The pitch black hedgehog with crimson streaks inhaled a decent amount of smoke from his freshly lit cigarette. Just as quickly he released the smoke back into the frigid it was a newer building the construction was poor. You'd have to buy your own fan if you wanted to be cool during the summer, Shadow didn't mind the heat. He shrugged and sighed out another puff. But the winters in this area were a pain without a heater. That's why during the winter he kept a captive. A prisoner of the most brilliant shade of sapphire he had ever glanced to his lover. Sonic paid for everything. The shitty apartment, Shadow's sick vices, and whatever else he felt "Shad's" needed. Was the so called ultimate life form happy? He was. Just a few months earlier he was more than content. He had all the cigs he could smoke, all the beer he could drink, and all the sex he wanted from Mobius' hero. What more could he want? That's what Shadow longed to roughed up his black & crimson quills in frustration. Could he be tired of Sonic? Perhaps a less "in-the-closet" kind of relationship with his lover. Like that would ever happen. Sonic the Hedgehog with his emerald eyes and innocent blue fur was a hot commodity. With both girls and boys. The planets golden boy was bisexual and very much so in the closet. Only girls were allowed to meet his parents, a legend-in-his-own-time war hero and a beloved queen. Talk about good tried to picture his lover's siblings in mind. Having never met them he wondered what they were like. "lets see," he groaned," a younger sister, he said the other day. Sonia was her name?" He removed the cigarette and began to toy with it between his fingers. "and a brother...Manic?" He accidentally flicked the ashes on to his pillow. "what a strange name." Shadow leaned back forcing his shoulder blades against Sinic's tail bone.

He pulled his right arm, cigarette in hand, over his head. He ran his fingers and cigarette along Sonic's stomach, leaving ashes all over the nude hedgehog. Shadow clinched his eyes tighten. He still thought was sexy, but why was he not turned on? Nibbling at Sonic's waist, he rolled over groaned, "Shads?" He blinked forcing himself awake, "I'm not an ash tray, you fag.""You're cranky, I like that.""what are you doing?""nothing, just smoking. You want?" He picked up another cigarette he had left on his bed. Even though Sonic didn't smoke, he felt the need to tease him by poking Sonic in the jaw with it."Shadow, you know-""yeah, yeah." He spit it out, "didn't you used to?""you're so wasteful, babe."

"wanna go outside?""now?""yeah.""right now?""yeah.""but I'm naked.""so?""it's snowing.""and?""what you wanna do outside anyway?"

"fuck you.""...you're a freak man.""so, you wanna?""no!""killjoy.""cus I don't wanna get sick?"Shadow didn't reply for a minute or two. He pushed Sonic over and crawled under the covers, "I'm going to sleep then.""what's your problem?""Nothing." He reached over to turn out the light, "night."

The night felt short, as though there was no night at all. The ebony life form rose from his covers and released a big yawn and stretched. He turned to see that sonic was missing. Which he didn't give much thought to. 'he probably went home' Shadow sighed a simple thought.

He didn't quite understand what was wrong with him. He should be happy, but he's not. He has an amazing life but he still feels down. Even though he's with Sonic, he's still lonely on the inside. 'can Sonic tell?' He asked, lost in his memories. 'is that why we haven't been getting along? Am I not in love?'


	2. Chapter 2

The sun rose slowly piercing the frosty morning air. Drops of dew ventured to the end of the window pane. The window discolored from the cold made it almost difficult for the sunlight to bleed through into Shadow's room. Longing for additional warmth the ebony hedgehog rolled over to beseech his lover. He fingered the empty space where his lover once laid.

"Son…ic?" He moaned half asleep. Shadow was not a morning person. Struggling to sit himself up he blinked several times. Eyes blurred from the his sleep, he starred at the empty space. Confounded as to where his boyfriend went he glanced around the room a few times.

"Sonic?" He increased the volume of his voice. Getting up, he sleepily made his way through his room. "Geese, Sonic. What the hell?" He glanced down at mess Sonic left. Clothes scattered the hardwood floor. Clean clothing were mixed in with what needed to be washed. "Always in a rush, but can't pick up after himself. I'm not your maid, Sonic!"

Shadow began cleaning his room. Picking up each article of clothing, he examined them for cleanliness. He grab a pair of pants that he had not seen before. A pair of denim, ripped down the thighs decorated with clothes pins. They were about two sizes smaller than what Sonic wore. "What are these doing here?" He thought of their origins for a moment, "Sonic really shouldn't invite people here without my permission." He sighed and continue to clean.

"What's a matter, 'Shads'?" A feminine voice called him to the window, "Trouble in paradise?"

Shadow strutted over to greet his 'friend'. He used the term loosely. Shadow and Rouge were always on uneasy terms. Rouge enjoyed ticking people off, and Shadow detested being jerked around. But even though she annoyed him, he could count on her. She was probably the only one Shadow considered a 'friend'.

"What do you want, Bat?" He voiced himself rudely still agitated from the night before.

"Oooo, someone's cranky. Missed your nap?" Rouge forced the window opened and crept her way in.

"Whatever, Rouge."

"Guess we all can't be as lucky."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You & Sonic." She gently floated to Shadow's bed. "You hit the jackpot."

"Jackpot?"

"Aahhh, if only Sonic's sister was a dyke."

". . ."

"Sonic pays for everything for you, doesn't he?"

"Yeah, and?"

"You're like his pet."

"Pet?"

"Yeah, he gives you everything and all you have to do is entertain him."

"It's not like that!" Shadow started to get pissed off.

"Oh?"

"Yeah"

"And if he gets tired of his little pet?"

". . .What are you saying?"

"What do you think I'm saying?"

"That you're crazy."

"No, I'm right. Aren't I?" Rouge laid back, "poor guy, Sonic don't love you no more."

"I told you, it's not like that."

"Then why isn't Sonic here with you?"

"Because. . ."

"You don't even know." She blinked, scanning the cold room, "That's a little sad, Shadow."

"Then what should I do?" Shadow's never been with anyone before. He didn't know when a break up was coming, or what to do about it.

"leave."

"Leave?"

"Just leave"

"How does that help anything?"

"And what would staying accomplish?"

". . ."

"Exactly! Shadow, sometimes you just need to move on." She hopped off the bed and wrapped an arm around Shadow's shoulders. "The fires dead between you two, but the problem is-" She stopped herself.

"Is what?"

"You two "macho men" won't admit you aren't that into each other anymore."

"But I still like Sonic."

"You sure? I mean, really, how long has it been since you two did the 'couple thing'?"

"The other night."

"I meant go out, not jump in bed."

"oh. . ."

"Yeah, that's what I thought."

"So, Sonic's going to dump me?" He swallowed his voice, worried of her answer.

"Maybe."

"Maybe?"

"But you should dump him first."

"W-Why?"

"Cus if he hasn't done it yet, then he never will. You two can't keep going on like this."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." She left Shadow's side, "He probably wants to move on too. Just cut the strings, Shadow."

"And you're sure?"

"Positive"

"Then, thanks? I think. . ." Shadow scratched his head, plotting his next step.

"Yeah, yeah. Now I have an echidna to find." She jumped on the ledge of the window, "Let me know once the deed has been done, later" She flew out of the unstable window frame and through the clouds in order to disappear quickly.

"hmmm" He pondered to himself, "dump Sonic?"


	3. Chapter 3

Shadow circled around the room, figuring out what to do. He was in a real pickle. He really did care about Sonic, but Rouge was right. The spark they had died. Shadow twisted his expression. "What if Sonic still wants to be with me? I don't want to break his heart. . ." he stared at the floor for several moments.

"But if he doesn't, we're just wasting time." He sighed and reached for another cigarette. "Damn" Shadow's pack was empty. He had no cigs and soon no Sonic. And after they break up he probably won't have anywhere to live. Just great.

He groaned as he got dressed. His strut to the kitchen made him look like he had a limp. Placing his hand on the kitchen table he examined the area around him. The table is what separated the living room from the kitchen. His furniture wasn't exactly nice, but it got the job done. None of the chairs broke once you sat down. There were no rips on the couch either. Shadow liked it this way, it was simple.

His apartment had one TV, in the living room. It was rather large. Shadow saw no point in having a big TV, but Sonic bought for him so he was grateful. The coffee table looked out of place compared to the furniture. It was older, worn, and dusty. Sonic had a bunch of gaming system hooked up to the TV, also pointless. Sonic was a hero, you'd think he'd get enough adventure from real life. Guess not.

Shadow regretted waking up today. He glanced at the table where his hand laid. On the far corner was a decent size pile of cash weighed down by Shadow's car keys. Shadow detested driving. It was only useful to him a handful of times. Mostly for buying a lot of groceries. He had almost forgotten, Sonic wanted to have to a small get together for a New Year's bash. He wanted Shadow to do all the cooking, "Guess that's what the monies for." Sonic loved Shadow food. Then again, Sonic isn't exactly picky with what he puts in his mouth.

Shadow walked over and snatched up the money. He fingered it, memorizing the amount before shoving it in his pocket. The ebony hedgehog wasn't looking forward to anything right now. He wasn't even thrilled with the idea of walking outside, but he had to. He wanted to cook something really nice for Sonic. It would be like a fair well gift.

He forced himself out the door and into a black Honda Civic. Sonic had always joked about painting red stripes on Shadow's car and referring to it as the "Shadow-Mobile". Shadow tried not to laugh, he didn't want to remember the good times or he'd end up changing his mind.

He began reviewing his relationship with Sonic as he started the car and waited for it to warm up. Their first date was wonderfully awkward. The second date, Sonic skipped because Sally wanted to see him. There were rumors of Sonic and Sally being engaged, Shadow hoped it wasn't true. He knew he and Sonic could never marry. Sonic was a prince, and he had an image to maintain. But the last thing Shadow wanted was for Sonic to end up with Sally. He never liked her. She was just so perfect, he though grinding his teeth.

She knew everything about Sonic and he knew nothing. Sally could make Sonic laugh and have a serious conversation. When he and Sonic were in the same room it was either sex, or an argument. At this second, Shadow didn't enjoy neither. They did fight a lot, but they weren't big fights. Just little meaningless ones. He felt stupid fighting with Sonic over a cigarette the other day.

Sonic really didn't like that Shadow smoked. Sonic was a "good boy". He never smoked. Sonic couldn't even hold a cigarette the right way, much to Shadow's amusement. Shadow did manage to get Sonic to drink once or twice. Sonic never got drunk though. He just didn't enjoy it as much as Shadow. Maybe Sonic was worried that would have his way with him if he were drunk. Which Shadow wouldn't do. He never saw a point in drunk sex, no matter how much Rouge said it was amazing. Shadow liked being sober when he was around Sonic. Mostly because Sonic hated being around a drunken Shadow.

In all honesty, he wished there was a way to fix this. He just wanted to be Sonic, but he wasn't in love with Sonic. Shadow's mind became confused with a variety of feelings. Doubt, regret, lust, sorrow, anxiety, and everything in between. What if he couldn't go through with it?


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks so much for reading guys~

Shadow's still battling his decision to dump Sonic or not. I swear I'm turning Shadow into the new Hamlet. I swear if I end up giving Shadow a long monolouge that starts with "To be or not to be", someone slap me. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the story~

* * *

><p>Shadow's Civic came to a screeching halt as he arrived at the convienance store. The sound of his car breaking made a crack in the store's windows. Shadow isn't what you'd call a "car guy". He cared very little about maintaining his ride. As long as it can run, why bother? He only drives his car when he feels the need to. Usually when he and Sonic go out together. Normally they watch a movie, eat some dinner, and then make sweet, hedgie love in the backseat. frequents this establishment quite a lot. For one, it was close without being 'too close'. And second, because its the cheapest place for the grumpy hedgehog to get his favorite brand of cigs. As for everything else they sold, it was pure waltzed in as though he has a life time to spend in there. Normally he just demands his cigs, pays, and leaves. But not today. Shadow was still feeling crumby and he wanted to take his time. Shadow began to walk sluggishly around the aisles. He paid close attention to every item he passed, though he really didn't give a damn.<p>

Aisle 1 was mostly horrid tasting potato chips, obvious knock offs of name brand chips. So he swung around to the next . Shadow sighed. 'Why are condoms _always _beside the candy'? He was baffled. Any other day he wouldn't have given two shits. But not today. He looked intensely at the colorfully wrapped condoms. Some were flavored, others had designs, and they even had glow-in-the-dark condoms! How useful are condoms that glow in the dark? chuckled. These condoms were poorly made and would surely get any girl knocked up. He only imagined if Amy was a victim to poorly manufactured birth control. The thought cheered him up for a few moments until he decided to move eyes were glued to the bottom shelf as he shuffled his feet along the aisle. Shadow thought he was the only one present at this ungodly hour, or he would have been paying attention to where he was going. He bumped shoulders with another consumer who was deep in thought over which candy to buy.

"uh, sorry." Shadow forced an apology unto the hooded hedgehog. The other didn't speak, causing Shadow to take the matter further. He leaned in close to the other boy and noticed a familiar face underneath. He knew by the amethyst eyes and emerald fur that it was Manic, Sonic's brother. Shadow couldn't stop staring as Manic pulled a bud from his ear,"what?" He spoke as though he were asleep. His music was loud. Shadow could hear it clearly, some punk band."um." Shadow couldn't find the words to form a normal sentence, so he uttered the first phrase that came to mind, "do you use glow-in-the-dark condoms?" He felt like a total idiot."uh, no. . .do I know you?""not intimately.""o...kay?" Manic's eyes trailed off, "well, I should be going. Bye, I guess."

"wait!" Shadow grabbed his arm,"we should hang...maybe?" He blushed as he finished his sentence. He didn't know what was wrong with him."sure." He pulled out a small scrap of paper from his pocket and a pen he always kept handy. Quickly, he scribed down a group of numbers and a heart. Manic handed the piece of to Shadow, "call me, we can totallu do stuff.""I like stuff!""yeah, me too." Manic backed away,"bye." Shadow waived as Manic walked out the door. What was he thinking?

Shadow is planning on breaking up with Sonic. Is he really considering leaving Sonic for Manic? Sonic's own brother? The ebony hedgehog gave himself a light slap on the cheek. He couldn't be serious. "Friends…" he murmured silently. "After me and Sonic break up, we can still be friends. And I'll be friends with Manic too." Shadow trotted out of the store without his cigarettes. "Just friends."

He sat back in the driver's seat of his car and sighed, "Manic has the same jaw line as Sonic." He said, remembering the first time Sonic and he kissed. It was gentle, like something you'd see in one of those kid friendly movies. Shadow loved caressing Sonic's jaw line when they kissed, he never noticed it till now.

He laid his head against the steering wheel, "I wonder if Manic's a good kisser. . ." Shadow thought, trying to be innocent. Manic and Sonic were fairly similar. They liked a lot of the same things and responded similarly a lot of time. But the two brothers also had their differences as well. Manic was more naïve than Sonic could ever be. Shadow remembered how Sonic would almost always mention his little brother. Sonic is very over protective of Manic because of how naïve and trusting he can be. Shadow loved how faithful Sonic was to Manic. He would never let Manic get hurt. And with that logic, Sonic would never allow Manic to date with Shadow.

When Shadow looked into Manic's eyes a few minutes ago his heart skipped a beat, the same way when he and Sonic first kissed. It was almost like falling in love again. Shadow has enough problems with trying to break it with Sonic, he really doesn't need to be crushing on Sonic's younger brother. Maybe a cold shower would help.

Shadow put the key in the ignition and tried to start the car. This time it took a few tries for the old Civic to actually start. Just great, Shadow thought. "Maybe I really should look into getting this metal death trap fixed." He pulled out with a groan and headed back home. His eyes were bouncing from every angle, maybe he really did a shower.

Shadow's mind was going back and forth between situations. Should he break up with Sonic? Should he date Manic? Or could he have both of them? He was more confused now than ever. He was starting to regret ever leaving his apartment. What more could happen today?

He arrived at his 'home sweet home' halting to a crooked park in two different spaces. Shadow jumped out of the Civic and rushed to door. He checked his hand every few steps to make sure he still had Manic's number. If Sonic wasn't there he decided he would go a head and give Manic a call. And if Sonic was there he was going to hit the shower. As of right now he decided his plan was good enough, he just didn't plan out after his shower.

He slammed the door open. Sonic was not in the living room, nor the kitchen. Shadow's eyes wondered and began to check every room in the place. No Sonic. Shadow gave a small grin, normally he was displeased when Sonic wasn't around. But right now he just wanted some alone time.

Shadow grabbed his phone and dropped himself on the couch. He pressed each number slowly, making sure he hit the right buttons. It was good. He pressed the green call button. With each ring his heart raced a little faster. He was nervous, anxious, was he in the wrong for calling him?

"Hello?" Manic's mellow voice rang in Shadow's ear. It was sweet, and tasted of boredom. Shadow felt like his heart was about to explode.

"Uh, hi?" Shadow swallowed his negative thoughts. He knew he had to be positive. He was doing anything bad. He was just talking. That is all.

"Who's this?"

"Shadow, remember I bumped into at the store awhile ago?"

"Oh yeah, what's up?"

"Nothing."

"Still thinking about those glow-in-the-dark condoms?" Manic asked with a slight giggle.

"Yeah, sorry about that. I don't know why I said that."

"It's okay my brother says some pretty odd stuff too."

"Oh? Who's your brother?" He asked, trying to be coy.

"Sonic, do you know him?"

"Not really. . .I've heard of him but I don't really know him." Shadow blushed, "So do you have any plans for today?"

"Well me and my brother were supposed to go do something, but he bailed."

"That sucks, what was so important?"

"His girlfriend. She's been busy so they haven't had much time together. So yeah."

"I see. . .do you wanna hang out?" Shadow toyed with one of his quills awaiting Manic's response.


End file.
